Deceived by Love: My Heartbreaking Journey with a Cheating Partner

My boyfriend, Max, and I have been together for four years now. He is 30 while I am 31. We met on Instagram and quickly realised we had many mutual friends. During the talking stage, I asked around about him, and everyone gave glowing reviews. They told me how lucky I was to be dating such a good guy. Their words gave me confidence in him.

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I was sure I had landed a jackpot until I found out in 2023 that he was in a serious relationship with another woman from his workplace. I saw their conversations on his phone. It wasnt only her. There were other women he was pursuing too. I was in shock. This man who had come so highly recommended by people I trusted was living a life no one who respected him knew.

I wanted to be sure that I got all the facts right so I didnt confront him immediately. First, I reached out to some of the women I found in his phone. They all confirmed that they were romantically involved with him. From there, I confronted him with the evidence I gathered, and he didnt deny it.

He apologised, begged for forgiveness, and pleaded with me not to tell his family. I was heartbroken, but some of our friends stepped in. You know men like to have their fun on the side, they said, but now that youve caught him he is likely to change. Why dont you give him another? Well, I listened to them and decided to try again.

Things between us got better, but with time, I began to notice unsettling patterns. First, he never apologises unless the situation is extreme. For instance, when he cheated.

Another thing is, he holds double standards. What I mean is, he expects me not to talk to my exes, yet he stays in touch with his exes and even sends them money. He doesnt allow me to be on my phone around him, but he freely uses his. When I complain he tells me, I am just checking social media so we can have things to talk about.

Something else I noticed is that hes overly protective of his phone and always defensive when I ask what he is hiding.

Max speaks to me disrespectfully, but if I mirror his tone, he calls me rude or disrespectful. Honestly, the things are many. Theres always a new female friend hes talking to, yet he gets upset when I communicate with male friends Ive known since childhood.

Last year, he travelled abroad and became emotionally distant. Around that time, a childhood friend I hadnt heard from in a while resurfaced. He was kind, caring, and attentive, everything I had been missing in my relationship with Max.

My old friend did thoughtful things for me, sometimes without me even asking. I grew comfortable with him, especially since he introduced another woman as his girlfriend. I felt there was no harm in staying close.

One day, my friend and I attended a wedding together. We had a lot to eat and drink. We were so caught up in the moment that we ended up kissing. I dont know how it happened. I was so horrified that I stopped it immediately.

That moment made me realise I had to end the connection. I didnt want to do it immediately. My plan was to end the friendship when my boyfriend returned so I would use the excuse that my boyfriend found out about our friendship and wasnt comfortable with it. But unknown to me, Max had hacked my phone and was listening to all my conversations with the guy.

When he came back from abroad, he confronted me about everything. I didnt deny any of it, including the kiss. He called my childhood friend and cursed him saying, You will never find happiness in love.

The drama was too much so I blocked my childhood friend and everyone connected to him.

But despite all this, Max stopped caring about me completely. We now live in different cities, and because of work, I hadnt seen him in almost four months.

When he visited last week I asked if he was cheating. My suspicion had been growing due to something that happened during a phone call. He admitted to cheating. I asked to go through his phone for confirmation. At first, he hesitated, but eventually, he handed it over.

What I found was disappointing, though not surprising. He had deleted all his call logs and claimed his iPhone was full, so he had to clear his data, how convenient.

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Regardless, I also found a message from him inviting a National Service girl from another region to visit him. When I asked him about it, he said there was nothing wrong with asking someone to visit. I also discovered he lied about several trivial things, and it left me wondering, if he can lie about the small things, what else was he hiding?

When he travelled abroad, he had been constantly video-calling another lady, a woman some of his family members wanted him to date before he met me.

My Wife Has The Spiritual Powers To Detect Cheating

I wanted to leave him but every time I pray about him, I feel some strange push to keep holding on. The thing is, I dont know if thats truly God or just my emotional attachment talking.

I find it hard to believe that God would want me to endure emotional abuse like this. I think part of why Ive stayed this long is because I genuinely love his mother. She is an amazing woman, and I would have loved to have her as a mother-in-law. Is it a good enough reason to hold on to someone? I dont know if I should go ahead and leave him or stay for his mothers sake.

Bridget 

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