Apeksha N.
I didnt think not leaving a tip would turn into a full-blown family battle. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing, or at least not doing something wrong. But now everyones mad at me, and I keep going back and forth on whether I was being unreasonable or if theyre just overreacting.
Hi dear readers!
Please, tell me if Im in the wrong here because I just cant seem to see my fault. Heres what happened.
My daughter-in-law recently turned 30, and to celebrate, she invited my husband and me to a fancy restaurant she loves. The place was beautiful, sure, but you could tell right away it was one of those trendy, expensive for the sake of being expensive places.
But whatever. It was her birthday, and she seemed excited, so I smiled, dressed up, and went.
Ill admit, I already had a feeling the bill would be too much, but I figured wed each pay for ourselves or maybe split the bill. But nope: when the check came, she paid the entire $800 for everyones dinner.
It honestly surprised me, but I figured maybe she had been saving for it or wanted to treat everyone as a big gesture. We all thanked her, and I thought that was that.
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Then, as we were getting ready to leave after the dinner, cake cutting, and photos, my DIL turned to me and said, Can you take care of the tip? Its $150.
Wait, what? She had just dropped $800 on dinner, and now she wanted me to pay a ridiculous $150 tip, like it was no big deal. And, above all, why should I pay the tip for a dinner I was invited to? So I said, calmly, Im sorry, I dont think the service was worth that much. Im not comfortable covering the tip.
And then I left. No shouting. No passive-aggressive comments. Just a polite refusal and a quiet exit. I thought maybe shed be a little annoyed, but I figured shed understand. Well, I figured wrong.
Later that night, I got a horrifying text from my son: Forget about coming around for a while. You embarrassed her. She cried the whole way home. You shouldve known better.
I was stunned. Over a tip? Now my phones gone quiet. My DIL wont text back. My son is furious. Apparently, she feels that I was supposed to cover the tip because I didnt get her a present, which is so strange to me.
Its not like I work a job. No one told me Id be expected to tip. I was just told to pay it. It didnt feel like a kind request; it felt like I was being put on the spot.
I was going to get her a present anyway, I just forgot. When did love become so transactional? What should I do now?
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